Frustration

[emsk]

I’ve joined a choreo team again. I am not a bad zouker. I have been doing this for christ, nearly two years what, how did that happen?

The choreo is beginner/improver level. (IE, I’m better than it.) The teachers are taking shortcuts, partly to simplify things for the newer dancers, and partly to make the choreo prettier. Also, P is a LOVELY girl but she’s about 21 and not an experienced teacher. Lovely lovely girl, I really do like her, but … not a teacher. She’ll get there with some practice; but she’s danced zouk for a shorter time than I have. Accomplished in other forms of dance, but not zouk.

So, there is a bit of confusion/frustration among some of the group, who don’t understand Why We’re Doing This Move This Way and I know how to explain but it involves teaching moves properly and that’s not my place. And, well, shortcuts, and I’m frustrated, because I know these moves, I know them well and I’m trying to do them wrong now and gaah. Yes, it looks pretty for the choreo but it means the guys are learning to lead them wrong and I don’t want them taking shitty leads out social dancing! And the only reason I understand how to do the moves, shortcuts and all, because I already know the moves. And again, not my place to explain, so I shut up, but get frustrated because everyone else is frustrated and circular frustration of doom!

When I am finding things frustrating, or when it takes multiple tries to get things right, I will sometimes find it funny and laugh. I am NOT laughing AT people. I just find the general situation amusing – and frankly sometimes it’s laugh, or get frustrated and turn into a stompy toddler, or worst, cry. The latter two are ridiculous to unacceptable, so, I laugh.

My dance partner told me not to laugh at him last night. He was quite polite about it, to be fair. I managed to suppress the “I am not laughing at YOU you PILLOCK” reaction; and explained that a) I’m not laughing at him, b) I will attempt not to laugh, but if I do please keep in mind that it is not personal, and if we both remember these things we will be fine. I am quite pleased with how I handled it, being tired already, but at the same time I had a bit of a flashback to a uni lecturer who stopped classes once because we were chortling at our own inability to keep up with the data dump he was providing. He had a real go at us for disrespect. We weren’t being disrespectful! It was really hard and we all found it funny!

I suspect it may be a cultural thing – both my partner and the lecturer are from the same corner of the world – but it was still awkward. I don’t want to offend him, he’s a nice guy. He’s come into the group late, and is working really hard to get up to speed. Doing a stellar job, I might add. Still, having a frustrating night then being asked, however politely, to stop using my usual “frustrated halp” reaction… guh.

There was one particularly nice bit. One of the newer zoukers – again, an accomplished dancer in other disciplines – was struggling with the basic body movements, which at this point I don’t have to think about at all. The body movement in question is rotating your upper body – from the ribcage – using the upper abs. You do not bend your back (much), you don’t move your head – the head movement is passive, not active – and it takes some practice to get right, particularly the tipping-back section of the rotation.

See, to do it properly, you don’t push your shoulders back, you don’t arch your spine, you expand your chest. But that’s really hard to understand unless you already know how to do it. So, I shared a tip from my favourite zouk teacher.

Me: “Try to point your boobs at the ceiling.”

H: “What. What…”

Me: “Don’t bend your back, just open up your chest and point it at the ceiling.”

H: “Can you please… show me, because…”

So I did. There was a smattering of “hey, that works!”, a bit of giggling (which was the reaction I was aiming for!) and a compliment from P – “that’s what you get with PRACTICE”.

I’m no amazing dancer, but I do know how to do the basics now. The routine will be good, in the end, last night was just long and late and frustrating.

Onwards and upwards…