Deep in a dream

I’ve always dreamed vividly. Very vividly. And I’ve been prone to nightmares, too. Recurring nightmares, dreams that pick up in a sequence… there are dream stories I’ve been having chapters of for, quite literally, decades.

But last night heralded something new in the brainspace. I had a nightmare, woke up flailing and sweating – but rather than being absolutely drowned in terror, I was able to go back to sleep.

When I did get back to sleep, I had the same nightmare again. But this time, my brain had obviously registered “wait, something odd is going on here” – instead of the same nightmare, my brain played with an alternative outcome.

And then another alternative outcome.

And then another.

AND ANOTHER.

Periodically I’d wake up again, and stare at the ceiling going “what the hell, brain”, and fall asleep again. (And re-live the dream again.) By the time the alarm went off, I was exhausted. Boomer was snuggling on the far side of Tobermory, Tigra had departed for another room entirely, so I must not have been a pleasant bedmate. But it’s a sign that something in the depths of my brain has made a shift for the better.

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So this is Christmas

I stepped outside my comfort zone by quite a long way on Saturday – the dance studio that I’m learning salsa and zouk at held a Christmas party. Somewhat to my surprise, I had a good time.

One of the big problems I have, character wise, is shyness. I don’t know how to make friends with people – either I knew everyone I grew up with (church) or I wasn’t allowed to go out with them anyway (schoolmates) so I never really learned How To Make Friends.

But, some of the women in class have been extending general overtures of friendliness, so I knew that I’d have people I could at least pretend to know if I turned up. And indeed, I arrived, and sat with them and chatted. And they were nice. And I danced, both with my classmates and a couple of random guys who asked me (at which, to be honest, I sucked, because I really ridiculously need practice).

It was good. I need to start going to the Sunday night social dances, mostly for the practice with people that aren’t a) in my class b) my dance teacher.

Sometimes, putting on my big girl panties and trying something works out well. Saturday night was one of those times.

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