emsk | Need vs want

Someone posted something (on facebook, natch) that got me thinking.

I don’t want to be needed. Need implies someone is dependent on me. Need implies that I am something they can’t get anywhere else. Need implies weakness, that only I can fill a gap, that they have no choice but to depend on me. Need implies that I have no choice but to be there for that person, because there is something that they require of me that I have no choice but to fulfill. Need requires things of me, whether I wish to give them or not.

I want to be wanted. I want someone to be strong, to be able to live without me, to have choices and options and freedom. I want to be chosen. Want implies strength, the power of choice. I want people in my life that have other options, who choose me anyway, because I am something that they want in their lives, because they could live without me and freely choose me. Want allows me a choice; I can choose to fill someone’s wants, or I can choose not to, knowing that I may make someone’s life richer for ceding to their wants. If I am wanted, it is because I make someone’s life better, not because I merely make their life bearable.

I don’t want to be a need. I need to be a want.

Originally published at kiwi geek. You can comment here or there.