Jan. 21st, 2015

emsk: (Hex cucumber)

Because it needs to be captured off Facebook and available for posterity.

We’re dealing with a complex issue at work. It turns out probably not to be our ISP’s fault, but I started there as it appeared to be a bizarre network issue.

I am colossally unimpressed with the ‘technician’ that it was my ill fortune to get on the phone some hour+ ago – sufficiently so that I am actually complaining to our rep at Vendor about the fact that they are a colossal waste of space.
I am rather pleased with the last paragraph in my complaint email.
“I’d appreciate it if you could pull the call logs (or arrange for a supervisor to do the same, etc), so that this ‘engineer’ can perhaps have some training in active listening and customer service skills.”

Seriously, two days later I’m still proud of that line. I maintained my calm (verbally while ON the phone) about this muppet, and my complaint only requested some training, not any disciplinary action. I am SO PROUD of myself.
Comments, liveblogged from the call:

HE JUST CALLED ME MISS
I AM FUCKING 31 YEARS OLD
ohh, he’s working with a /colleague/
to make sure he sets up the packet trace correctly
I mean, I only know how to do them with Wireshark, and it’s a bit different inside other networking equipment but OMFG IT’S HIS ACTUAL JOB LIKE HIS ACTUAL. JOB.

He doesn’t know what srv DNS records are!! Hooray!!
THEY ARE BASIC INTERNET KNOWLEDGE AS A TECH
I just heard a Skype noise or possibly viber noise in the background.

AFTER EXPLAINING IN STUPIDLY CRUCIAL DETAIL OF HOW LYNC NEGOTIATES CONVERSATIONS OVER WHICH PORTS HE GETS IT. “But I don’t see that traffic in the trace?” YES EXACTLY THAT IS WHY I AM ON THE TELEPHONE WITH YOU

I’ve dealt with amazing engineers here before. It’s not their fault they work at Vendor, after all, and I try not to hassle them about it. They know their shit, they talk to me as though I am a fellow professional, and they get it done.
This guy though. This guy. Oh my god this guy. And come to think of it I couldn’t do this guy’s job – which is, you know, why we pay Vendor to do it for us. GUUUHHHH

AHAHHAAAAA I texted my mother to whinge.
“You may not love gardening but you sure know how to shovel ….!!! You make me proud. Mum.” N’awwww Mum.

He just apologised for taking too long & asking moderately stupid questions. MODERATELY STUPID WHAT THE FUCK

Around this time I apparently became overtired and thus somewhat silly.

(8:13pm) still not king.
2:39:15 on call, 8:28pm. Still not king.
3:00:00 on call. 8:50pm. Call automatically hung up.
My hair is the prettiest.
I kind of need to pee.
3:17 on phone. Still not king.

So that was Monday.
Across Tuesday, I basically failed to get any third parties to provide external assistance, logged calls with Microsoft Premier support, etc.

Anyway, after a LOT OF WORK with Vendor and Microsoft and some beating of my head against my desk, we’ve narrowed down the issue, and it’s horrific and snarly and DNS related and I can’t even HOW DID THIS BREAK IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT IS GOING ON.

The email I sent my coworkers about it this evening was long & complex enough that I gave up & wrote an executive summary at the top.

I love my job, I really mostly do, and problems like this are amazing to deal with – you learn SO MUCH. In fact I had that conversation with a colleague who’s had some 50-odd years at Employer – he was very nicely correcting me on a technical point, and I cheerfully responded with a “great, thank you for pointing that out, please correct it when you escalate to OtherVendor!” He went quiet for a moment, so I pointed out that I don’t mind being told I’m wrong, because that means I LEARN A NEW THING, and new things are GREAT, more new things please! That also means less wrong things next time!! Win!!!!

I was overall correct, it was a technicality that needed to be corrected. Important, but not so important as to break my overall points of where the overall gnarly problem is happening. So, you know, my ego wasn’t bruised while I was being corrected, which probably helped.

I have returned home, eaten ALL OF THE PIZZA and drunken ALL OF THE CIDER, seen my bosses’ email where he asks for a dumbed down explanation in the morning, realised I’ve drowned myself in so much technical detail of things I only JUUUST grasp that I haven’t actually managed to swim to the surface yet, failed somewhat in acronyms while wishing the lovely housemate a happy birthday, and it is probably bedtime. Yes? Yes.

Originally published at kiwi geek. You can comment here or there.

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